Mentoring

Before I begin have two things to tell you! First off, if you like what you are reading please share! It would make it make my day! Secondly, next week my folks, Bangor  the Moose and I are going to Disney to celebrate my graduation which means there will be no blog next week. In 2 weeks I will begin a 4 week Bangor Chronicles series on each park so be on the look out for that.

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For the past three or four years I mentored two little girls in the Inner City. I was with one little girl for two or three years and another little girl for one year. I do not do it anymore but I learned some things along the way. The first thing I learned is selflessness when you would rather do something else. When we had mentoring during the winter months or if it was day it was raining it was much harder for me to go then when the sun is shining and the temps are terrific. When it is really cold and rainy, I would much rather stay home in the evening reading a book and watching TV. It is much harder going out on a night when it is cold  and dreary.

The second thing I learned was we are making a difference even when it feels we are not. Sometimes I felt especially with the girl I had for one year that I was not reaching her or that she thought positively about me as her Mentor. I will never forget when the little girl I had for two or three years painted a picture and wrote "I love Molly" on it more than once. I honestly didn't realize that or that I was making a difference in her life. I will never know how these two young ladies turn out. I know that whether or not I will see the results of my time with them that I made a difference in the time I did have with them. I really hope so!

I learned that we are not much different from the down and out. The kids in the mentoring program came from broken homes. Many were without fathers. It is easy judge families like theirs. I can honestly I did initially. The thing is we only a few bad decisions from being in their shoes. We have no room to judge when we come to realization we can easily be their shoes. We could lose our income and everything all too easily and then we learn how much like we all are. Tough times doesn't discriminate! It can hit anyone in the blink of the eye!

I learned how good it feels to get out of ourselves to help someone else. When I went to mentoring I knew it was not about me, it was about my child and helping her live up to her potential and support her. We live in a very self-absorbed society. I can personally attest to the fact the being self-absorb can lead to depression and anxiety. When we become self-absorb, we become insecure and we want to know what everyone thinks about us and if they think are fine. When we take our minds on ourselves and take time to help someone else, we find freedom! We realize in helping others that we feel less self-absorbed and thus less anxious and depressed.

Here are someways that we can help others. These are just a few! The list can go on much longer.

1) Volunteer
2) Send a card (NOT AN EMAIL OR TEXT) to someone you have not talked to for a long time.
3) If it is financially possible, sponsor a child. I have personally sponsored a child  through Compassion ever since 2013 and it has been a very positive and rewarding experience.
4) If you see someone who seems lonely or sad, reach out to them and start a conversation.
5) Take a meal to someone who is sick or is going through a stressful time.

In closing, how did you feel when someone reached out to? How did you feel when you were able to talk to them without a fear or being judged. What did you learn from the wisdom of someone? Do you remember what they said? Do you still live by the wisdom they imparted on you? What would it be like if someone felt that way about you? What can you do to that will make someone feel they can talk to without being judged? What can you do to kindly use what you learned to give them wisdom? How would you  feel if someone remembered you years from now just because you reached out to them with love and compassion? We may never see the impact we have- and maybe that is a good thing as a way to keep us humble. Just remember what you say, do, and thing matters everyday in much larger way then you imagine!

A Sad Trend

We all know millennials are leaving the church in droves. The church is having a hard time meeting the needs of this generation. My Pastor had started a new sermon series titled Courageous. The first Sunday he was preaching in this series, he gave us cold hard facts. He told us that recently there was a lunch of about 50 ladies and they all had adult children. When they were asked if their adult children attend the Church only 2 raised their hands.

Pew Research Center has an article title America's Changing Religious Landscape. It is it says "One of the most important factors in the declining share of Christians and the growth of the “nones” is generational replacement. As the Millennial generation enters adulthood, its members display much lower levels of religious affiliation, including less connection with Christian churches, than older generations." 


I am a 28 year old millennial and I have seen this as the total reality. I have been personally impacted by this trend. The Church has yet to learn how to reach out to this particular challenging generation. If it does not change, the ramifications can go much deeper. Some churches do\ well in reaching out to this challenging generation. Luckily I have found a church that is truly wonderful about it. People may say that it is not a problem but with that attitude can result in tragic outcomes- more tragic then we need can imagine. 

I believe there are many factors to this issues. I will name the first few that run off the top of my head. One is people in this generation haven't learned how to make their faith their own. They see it is something that their parents believe and it was simply how they were raised. Once they turn 18 because they haven't learned how to make their faith own they decide to leave. Churches don't make enough of an effort to reach out to people in this generation or they try but they could do more. They need to make programming available for this generation- even if there are not many millennials in a particular congregation. When they read in the bulletin that a Bible Study meets for people like us it sends this message... "This church cares about me. This church believes me." Churches need to do research on what  our needs are, what attracts us and what sets us off. The more churches learn about about us the more they will be able reach us where we are. Parents of kids through the age 17 need to help their child make their faith their own. They need to help them see it not just apart of what their family but a part of them as an individual. 

I truly believe it is not too late to change this sad tread. I do believe that we need to change this now before it will be too late. I believe the church needs to be courageous and stop being complacent. I believe we as a Nation needs to back it's Christian foundation and I believe that the millennials can lead that change but before that happens the Church needs to stands up! NOW! 

http://www.pewforum.org/2015/05/12/americas-changing-religious-landscape/

Comfortable In Your Own Skin?

One of my favorite TV shows is Full House. I own the whole series on DVD. I was watching an episode of Full House recently and the opening scene struck me in a way that never did before- maybe I was just being over-analytical that day. DJ and Stephanie fix up Michelle's hair so beautifully and tell her she is going to look beautiful for Grandma. They have her look in the mirror to see how she looks. When she sees herself in the mirror, they ask her how she looks. She replies "No good, I look like me!" then she picks up a blond wig and walks back to the mirror and says "Now I'm a movie star!

This is a simple scene that is suppose to be funny and  most people wouldn't read much into it but I couldn't help asking myself how many each of us do this every day. How many of us wish we were someone else and look in the mirror or at our current situations and say "No good, I look like me!" We may look in the mirror and see aspects of our physical appearance and do everything we can mask our imperfections. Or we can look at the mirror and see our circumstances and wish we are seeing in the mirror someone else- the person we wish we were. I look at the mirror and I see my circumstances. I wish I was not me and was someone else. I do not see myself for what I have accomplished but rather I compare myself to others. This adds to depression, anxiety and moments of extreme panic! When I read verses like Psalm 139: 14 that says  "Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it." I feel an emptiness and strong desire to believe it. How I desperately need and want to be there!

What about you? What makes you look in the mirror and say "No good, I look like me." What are you hiding behind all that makeup- internally and externally that you put on every morning? More importantly, what can you do to help you be able to say verses like Psalm 139:14 as a claim over your life- your birthright. In every essence, believing and claiming verses like Psalm 139:14 is our birthright. It is our destiny. It is our calling to live life claiming verses like that one but most of us resort to the makeup and hiding who we are. We don't feel good enough to be ourselves. We don't feel comfortable in our own skin. We wish we were anyone else but ourselves. Can you imagine how much better we would feel if we were comfortable to just be us? Content in the season of waiting? Content in your circumstances? I want that so badly for you and for me. It all starts with a choose to believe what we know to be true over our feelings. 

Romans 9:20-21 No, don’t say that. Who are you, a mere human being, to argue with God? Should the thing that was created say to the one who created it, “Why have you made me like this?” When a potter makes jars out of clay, doesn’t he have a right to use the same lump of clay to make one jar for decoration and another to throw garbage into?

Bangor Chronicles: Zachary

December 30, 2017        Bangor meets Zachary

One of the biggest blessings my family and I ever received entered our world and changed it forever on April 6, 2017. This is the day our Zachary King was born. He is an awesome little boy and I love him so much! He is meeting every developmentally milestone and in the 97% percentile for height and weight! When I think about my nephew there are several things I want him know. Several things I want him to understand. The biggest thing I want for him is to find a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and the faith of our family. I want him to learn how to make his faith his own so he doesn't see Christianity as something our family just does. I want to help him learn from my mistakes spiritually and emotionally so he doesn't have the same struggles I have. I want him to a ripple in the river of his peers that creates change. I want him to learn how to be a friend to everyone and how it is cool to reach out to the kid in the lunchroom sitting by themselves. I want him to have a heart of adventure! I want him to see, experience, and appreciate the beauty of our country. I want him to learn the beauty of hiking and simply being. I want him to develop a love of books. I want him to see how much reading can enrich his life. I want him to learn that if he isn't exactly good in one subject at school it doesn't take away from him and how special and unique he is. If he struggles, I will encourage him to not give up- that hard work pays off! I want him to be secure in himself so if a peer puts him down he is still standing simply because he knows who he is. I want him to learn each of us have things about us that make us different but at the end of the same we are all the same. I want him to know my whole story one day and have it resonate with him and stay with him. I want my story to show him diagnoses and what people say about us is not the end all. When we choose to take away those labels and lowered expectations we find freedom. When we choose to rise above our challenges than no one and nothing can hold us down. We just have to chose not to let those labels define us. I want Zachary to be a game-changer! I want him to choose happiness and choose life. I want him to choose freedom over chains. These are just of few of the things I want him to learn. I want Zachary to know that most of all I will never stop loving him even when he trips up on his journey.