Winter the Dolphin

The story of Winter the Dolphin is one of my favorite stories! It is a true to story of a dolphin who was in the ropes of crab trap off the coastal waters on Florida on December 10, 2005. Sadly the rope cut off the blood flow to Winter's tail was cut off leaving it having to be  amputated. She couldn't go on without a tail because it would have caused too much damage to her spine because of more pressure being put on it. It made her swim unnaturally from side to side and not up and down. 

If you have seen the movie, Dolphin Tail, you can see how frustrated she gets and how they keep having to make different prosthetic tails to make her comfortable. She would get angry if one didn't feel right and fight against it  and literally taking it off. Finally, after much research they made her a prosthetic tail made of silicone and plastic. Today, she lives at Clearwater Marine Aquarium where she continues to inspire people with physical disabilities all over the world! I have actually been there and meant her. It was an amazing experience. 

Like Winter, we get trapped. We get trapped in circumstances beyond our control, medical conditions, sin, depression, anxiety, mental health issues. If Winter didn't her new tail, she would not have made it! If she didn't past the trauma of what happened and the emotions (which you learn in the movie are very evident in her) then she wouldn't have been motivated to where the tail that worked for her. We have a choice just like Winter- do we want to be mad and angry and be complacent when it comes to our circumstances. Do we want to keep tangled in the sins that so easily trap us? What if we know there was a better a way- like a new tail for Winter but refuse to "try it on for size." There is a better way! There is a new "tail" to give us a different direction. Winter couldn't do it on her own. She was completely dependent on the maker of her tail and we are completely dependent on the only One who can fix us and make us whole again. The choice is ours. 

Hebrews 12 1-3 

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

The Pilot

I tend to come up with my deepest thoughts during the night. Lately, I have been struggling spiritually. I won't go into details. Suffice it to say, one of the biggest issues I have is giving up control. I feel like I need to control things and if I do not then things will fall apart- that I can't trust God and only myself. 

Last week, I woke up in the middle of the night and had an epiphany.  One of my most favorite things to do is fly! I realized that when I get on the plane, I trust the Pilot to know what he doing. There are so many similarities between a Pilot and God.

1) We rarely see the Pilot but we know he (or she) is guiding the plane and we trust they have the licenses  and knowledge to get us where we are going safely. 

2) We seldom see the Pilot but we know they are.

3) We can't see the Pilot but we hear his voice and can feel his presence when he speaks over the microphone. 

If you are like me, remember this! Once I had this big epiphany, I suddenly made sense why we can trust God! If we can trust the Pilot on our adventure, certainly we can trust the Pilot of our lives. 

Pleasing

How many of  you are eager to please? Sure, there are some good things about being a perfectionist- it motivates you to get to work on time, wanting to succeed and meet expectation. How do you know when it become an issue. 

Colossians 3: 23-24 

23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.

This is a verse that my therapist and I have gone over quite frequently. I get so worked up on how people see me. I worry if I meeting their expectations. I have been thinking about this verse a lot lately and how I have completely forgotten Who I work for. It isn't my boss, it isn't even my customers I'm suppose for! It isn't your boss you work for, your clients or whatever is applicable. I know a lot of my friends have this same anxiety and I am not alone in this type of anxiety, 

When we think of Colossians 3: 23-24, it forces our thinking to take a complete 360! It flips what we think to be reality and flips it like a pancake! Think of what this verse REALLY means! It means to me, we work for our Heavenly Father. Our Father who loved us enough to die for us before He even knew us! Isn't it nice to know that He is our boss? The One we work for only wants the best for us and as He says in Jeremiah 29:11 has good plans is our Boss according to this verse. Let that sink in for moment, 

What does working for God and not for man look like? It means not striving for perfection in order to meet the standards of your earthly boss. It is being a light in you're work place. it means giving each day to God before you go about what you do. It means praying for the people you work with and the people you serve. It means doing the right thing even if others don't. 

Another thing I have been thinking about that relates to this is projecting. I tend to project that something bad is going to happen- not something good. Instead of thinking what I am doing right or could be doing right, I think what I could be doing wrong- or just assume I doing a bad job and doing things wrong. How anxiety applicable is that?! Seriously? I am working really hard on changing this paradigm- I have good days and bad days. I encourage you to ask yourself what you project as well! 

I hope this helps relieve some anxiety you may be having or can help someone you know. You are permitted to share these blog post. Don't forget Who is your Boss! Love you all! 

The NEW Diagnosis

In 2010, I went to Canada with my family to camp and see the sights. We were in a very remote part of Canada where there was little help for emergences. After a beautiful hike, I feel on a slippery rock on the water and fell down right on my left wrist! I have a high tolerance for pain but it was hard to bare. There was a slight amazing miracle that happened though right after my fall. A nice guy came to where my family lead me so I could lay down and they put a cold compress on my head. He asked if we needed help and he would do what he could. More remarkable then that, he said he was Pastor and asked us if it was okay if he prayed for me. After we said yes, he put his hand on my head and prayed for me.

Because the area was so remote, we couldn't can any help until we entered the US 3 days later! We didn't think much of it. We didn't think it was broken. After we got back, my mother took me to ER immediately well the others stayed home and unloaded the car. It turns out I had 2 compress fractures! I had surgery on it a week later.

Over the years, I have dealt with issues on and off and until now it was diagnosed at tendonitis. In November, literally after I clocked out of my job, my wrist started hurting again. The Dr. who did my surgery and seen me after, it didn't take my new insurance. It was actually a blessing in disguise although he was wonderful. I now I have a new orthopedist and after seeing my x-rays just taking at that initial appointment and after he compared it to x-rays a few years ago, he immediately diagnosed me after seeing this new x-ray was worse then before. He is very proactive which I love! After putting me on prednisone for a week with no success, he put me in OT. I am making progress there but the pain is still high sometimes.

It is hard being in pain and knowing that even OT will not take it completely. I have wondered recently "why?" and I came up with some answers. I try to be in control of everything. I worry about so many things I simply can't control- job performance, when I can be on my own, etc. With the pain- I don't know when will it come. Some days it will be pretty calm and the next day it is horrible! I have thought maybe the reason this is happening is to remind myself to trust God even when I don't understand! I can't control the pain myself. I am not in control of what people think of me at work and how I am doing. I have learned and am continuing to learn that I can't control everything. It is hard. I am learning that in order to have peace, you have to give up control. It seems really weird! You would think being being in control brings you peace. It doesn't because it only burdens you! You are dealing with more fires then you need to. We were never meant to be in control. Our society tells us we are in control and that we have power over our destiny. This is a lie straight from the devil himself that sadly too many people fall into. 

Whatever you are trying to control, remember you won't have peace until you let it go. It will only tie down. I am a part of a group of ladies with Turner Syndrome who meet every Thursday. It is a huge blessing. One of the things we discussed this past Thursday is that God is not surprised by anything at happens in our lives and our world. He wasn't surprised when the pandemic disturbed our daily lives. He wasn't surprised when I fell in Canada. There is some peace that comes knowing nothing takes God surprise- even though we are!! Wouldn't it make sense to instead of trying to control things, let God who already knows everything have control? 

Right after the fall........