In 2010, I went to Canada with my family to camp and see the sights. We were in a very remote part of Canada where there was little help for emergences. After a beautiful hike, I feel on a slippery rock on the water and fell down right on my left wrist! I have a high tolerance for pain but it was hard to bare. There was a slight amazing miracle that happened though right after my fall. A nice guy came to where my family lead me so I could lay down and they put a cold compress on my head. He asked if we needed help and he would do what he could. More remarkable then that, he said he was Pastor and asked us if it was okay if he prayed for me. After we said yes, he put his hand on my head and prayed for me.
Because the area was so remote, we couldn't can any help until we entered the US 3 days later! We didn't think much of it. We didn't think it was broken. After we got back, my mother took me to ER immediately well the others stayed home and unloaded the car. It turns out I had 2 compress fractures! I had surgery on it a week later.
Over the years, I have dealt with issues on and off and until now it was diagnosed at tendonitis. In November, literally after I clocked out of my job, my wrist started hurting again. The Dr. who did my surgery and seen me after, it didn't take my new insurance. It was actually a blessing in disguise although he was wonderful. I now I have a new orthopedist and after seeing my x-rays just taking at that initial appointment and after he compared it to x-rays a few years ago, he immediately diagnosed me after seeing this new x-ray was worse then before. He is very proactive which I love! After putting me on prednisone for a week with no success, he put me in OT. I am making progress there but the pain is still high sometimes.
It is hard being in pain and knowing that even OT will not take it completely. I have wondered recently "why?" and I came up with some answers. I try to be in control of everything. I worry about so many things I simply can't control- job performance, when I can be on my own, etc. With the pain- I don't know when will it come. Some days it will be pretty calm and the next day it is horrible! I have thought maybe the reason this is happening is to remind myself to trust God even when I don't understand! I can't control the pain myself. I am not in control of what people think of me at work and how I am doing. I have learned and am continuing to learn that I can't control everything. It is hard. I am learning that in order to have peace, you have to give up control. It seems really weird! You would think being being in control brings you peace. It doesn't because it only burdens you! You are dealing with more fires then you need to. We were never meant to be in control. Our society tells us we are in control and that we have power over our destiny. This is a lie straight from the devil himself that sadly too many people fall into.
Whatever you are trying to control, remember you won't have peace until you let it go. It will only tie down. I am a part of a group of ladies with Turner Syndrome who meet every Thursday. It is a huge blessing. One of the things we discussed this past Thursday is that God is not surprised by anything at happens in our lives and our world. He wasn't surprised when the pandemic disturbed our daily lives. He wasn't surprised when I fell in Canada. There is some peace that comes knowing nothing takes God surprise- even though we are!! Wouldn't it make sense to instead of trying to control things, let God who already knows everything have control?
Right after the fall........
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