Be A Clique- Breaker: Part 2 Difficult People

If you haven't read the previous post, please read that before reading this post. At the end of the previous post, I mentioned how including difficult people into a social group can be challenging. We all have flaws and things about us that can make us challenging. We all have good days and bad days. Today we are going to discuss including difficult people and setting healthy boundaries. I am going to using online research to lead our discussion. Links to the websites used and citations are at the bottom.

I think before we go any further, it is best we begin by defining what a difficult person actually is. Van  Edwards (2014) found that there are four different types of difficult people. They are downers, better than, passives and tanks. Downers are always have something negative to say about everything.  Better than people try to impress you and make comparisons. Passives are people who don't contribute much to the conversation and let others do that hard work. Tanks are people who need to have everything their own way and will do anything to have it.

In 2013, Psychology Today put together an article called Ten Keys To Handling Unreasonable and Difficult People written by Preston Ni M.S.B.A. I am not going to go into all ten keys but the link the website is on the bottom. I will hit on some points. It is important to maintain self-control. Maintain your composure to be less reactive. Before responding, focus on taking deep breaths. If needed, take a time-out and deal with the situation later. Do not try to change or convince a difficult person (Ni, 2013). Try to keep your distance from them. Be proactive instead of reactive. Come up with various ways to view a situation before reacting (Ni, 2013). Avoid personalizing and try to view the person and situation more objectively. A way to do this is trying to understand things from the other person's point of view. Pick your battles and think about whether the issue is really important in the scheme of things.

You do not have to include people who you have tried to work things out but it was it not well received one way or another. Every person should know what the boundaries are and what the consequences are if they go outside the boundaries. We all need people who build us up. We need people who are willing to compromise and do what is best for everyone. Sadly, some people have a hard time with that. If the person effects the atmosphere of everything you do together in a negative way it is time to revisit what is best for the group. The important thing is that it is done with compassion and integrity.

I hope this has helped you.

Edwards, V. V. (March , 28 2014). 4 Types of Difficult People and How to Deal . Retrieved from Science Of People .

M.S.B.A., P. N. (2013, September 2 ). Ten Keys to Handling Unreasonable & Difficult People. Retrieved from Psychology Today .

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201309/ten-keys-handling-unreasonable-difficult-people

http://www.scienceofpeople.com/2014/03/4-types-difficult-people-deal/