In Our Weakness

2 Corinthians 12: 9-10

9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

What are you going through right now? Do you feel weak- physically and emotionally? Perhaps, you may feel a little bit both! I am going through a rough patch physically because of Turner Syndrome. Well, it is a consolation to know I am not alone, and other sisters have gone through this, it is very hard to know, that it happened much older for them. So, here I am 35, and having to think about things no 35 y/o should have to think about it. I get scared! Mornings are the hardest for me right now because of the amenia and I can very moody just because I don't feel good most of the time! To add to this, my treatment plan has been tweaked and while I am much more stable, it is hard to know if it is because of the change made. Sometimes, I also wonder if my moodiness is because of the change in my treatment plan. I do think the change is temporary, but I am not sure about that. 

There have been times during my time in the hospital, and since I got home where I will literally cry out to God to help me. Moments when everything seems to much to much and I am tired. Where I feel at the end of myself. Some days all I can do is keep going. I know I must keep as much normalcy as possibly even when I don't feel good at all. If I didn't push myself (not too much), I would be more depressed and anxious. I do know my body and if it tells me something, I will listen but so far, I don't feel the need to make any changes. 

Despite everything, I do see God working things out for in me in other ways. Before I got sick, I really couldn't see what God WAS doing for me and that He was interceding on my behalf. Now, I can see it and am able to appreciate it. I can trust God a lot more, even though somethings it is still struggle. While sometimes, I still think "it's all on me," more and more often I realize that is not this case because I can see God going before me and working things out and that is what keeps me going. 

So, no matter what you are through, know you are strongest in your weakness. Use this for your advantage! Try and see the big picture. If things are not going well for you in one way, look at how well things are going in another area! Make a daily effort to look for ways God is working in your life. This will help you feel calmer and more centered because you starting to see God work in ways you did not see before.