LET'S TALK! Bible Study, Sermons, and Neurodiversity

As someone who is neurodiverse, listening to sermons and engaging in private Bible Study, is something that has been harder for me. As for the sermons, I would understand them. At absolutely no fault of any Pastor (I've been blessed with many for all 37 years), being neurodivergent has made it extremally hard to know how to apply what I hear. I would hear it, but the brain-heart connection has been a struggle. If you are neuro-typical, please don't stop reading because this help you as well. 

Now, bear with me, because I am going to be talking about AI. I am as spectacle as anyone about AI and it's seemingly dominated role in society. There are major issues that need ironed out with AI. I am, however, going to introduce you to 2 apps that have changed my life and made things so clearer for me which has in turn helped strengthen my faith. 

It started in December, when I discovered BibleNotes. It is an app that uses AI to translates sermons in their entirety and then also will summarize the entire sermon and breaks it down for you. It gives you clear ideas about how to apply what the sermon said into your everyday life. It also gives you flashcards with trivia and insights. This app has been such a game changer because for the first time, I am able to go to church and not have to worry about missing anything. I am able to apply sermons into my life for the first time in quite possibly 37 years! This app is an annual paid subscription. I got a good locked in discount but would pay full price for it because it has made what has been impossible for me before.

Before I go with the next app, I am going to go "low-tech." I ordered a Bible Study Journal on Amazon. This has been a great tool for me as well. It has several area... theme, when, setting, key verse, events, interpretation and application. It also has a section for Sermon Notes that I use BibleNotes to fill in. I can give you a link to what journal I specifically use. I use the app. Gemini (Google) to help me connect those dots which is something I haven't done since very recently. Just like with the sermons, I am able fully understand what I am reading, pick up it's context and also to how for the first time, I am really able to understand how to apply it into my life! 

What helps you get the most of sermons and individual Bible Study?

Neurodiversity in a Neurotypical World

When most people think about neurodiversity, they automatically think autism. What people doing realize is there are conditions that can lead to neurodiversity. I am neurodiverse and just beginning to embrace it and what it means. While, I never qualified for an autism diagnosis, I have several neurophysiological evaluations that show I am not neurotypical. 

It is hard living being neurodiverse in a neurotypical world. Things that come naturally to others do not come naturally to me. It is very hard for me to mingle in with the neurotypical environment that is unstructured. Things like knowing how to enter a conversation and initiating a conversation are really hard for me. I can do it but it is not my favorite thing to do. When socializing, I prefer a structured setting where it is easy to know what the expectations are and when I know someone will be there I can trust. I thrive best in environments where things seldom change. When I know what I will be doing and what is expected of me, I thrive! 

There are a lot of neat things about being neurodiverse and it gives me a lot of strengths. One of the strengths it's given me is a love for words! I am tested as verbally gifted and using "big words" really gives me a leg up in the workplace, interviews, and general social settings. Words are a safety net for me because I am so short. When words come out of my mouth, people are more prone to respect me as an adult. 

I am very good with movie quotes. I can remember movie lines to line! This is really fun and sometimes I need to curb it back a little because it becomes a safety net I use too much in conversation! 

I have a lot of empathy for people who are misunderstood and it gives me a unique strength to conversing 

with them and understanding them. 

I see things in a different way than some people may. If people give me a chance, I may be able to help them fix something in a way they didn't think about! 

While being neurodiverse comes with challenges, I wouldn’t be me otherwise. Despite the challenges there is so much beauty! 

The Best GPS

Last weekend, I was driving to see a friend. I was very proud of myself. Going to the park I did so well but coming home, I got confused about where the GPS was telling me to go and went the wrong direction. My GPS was able to know where I was and where I needed to go and they adjusted the course. I drove way out of the way, but I got home. If I did not have GPS, it would have been a disaster. 

This whole ordeal made me think about God and how He is the ultimate GPS for our lives. When we got lost, He is the One who brings us home and when we lose our way, He is the One who gets us back on track. 

God is always there to lead the way. He paves the way before us. He knows what will happen before we do and has it all planned it. Is it hard? Yes! Frustrating? Yes! The good news that our feelings don't dictate reality. Just because we feel God isn't there leading us and loving us, it doesn't mean he isn't there.

So, next time you get lost and use the GPS for directions, remember God. The best GPS! 

How Do You Walk?

How do you walk? Do you walk with your head down like the world is agaisnt you or do you walk with your head held high? How you walk speaks volumes. 

When I was in the 8th grade and in a deep depression, I would walk with my head down and one of my teachers spoke to me about it. She told me to hold my head high. She taught me what it looks like when one walks with their heads down vs one when they walked with their heads held high. 

As Christians, we are made to live in victory and walk in victory. Walking with our head down doesn't show our reality of being made victorious through the death and reseccurection of Jesus Christ. 

We are more then conquerors.. We are hears of our Father; whatever He has from God, we also have. We don't have to walk around with our heads down and shoulders slumped. No matter what goes our way, God is on our side. 

So, next time you walk, think about how you walk and make a choice to live in the victory of Jesus today. 

Early Morning Drives and Braclets

My day starts before the crack of dawn. My alarm goes off 4 and I get in my car about 10 till 6 for my shift. It is not easy but I can do it and being off at 2 is a perk. 

Music is a big a part of my life. It seems to be more even more so now. When I drive and listen to my music, I feel the very presence of God in a tangible way. There are songs that play from my phone on my way into work that are exactly what I need for that moment and that day. 

I wear a lot of bracelets... I have one that simply reads "God Is In Control" and F.R.O.G. (Fully Rely On God." and I have bracelets that have Bible verses on them. These give me visual cues that help me focus on God when I get anxious and things simply get to feel too much for me. I am a very visual person and this is actually sometime a former therapist had suggested for me and I still use it today because I feel how well it works for me. 

God uses different ways to connect to connect with His children in a way that unique for them. For me, it just so happens to be music and bracelets, and yes even early morning drives. What does God use to reach you when you need Him the most. 

There is song by Mandisa called God Speaking and it talks about how God will use anything to get a whole of us... and some of these are unexpected. As you listen to the song, think of ways how God meets you in expected ways. 

Hitting The Road with Turner Syndrome (Literally) and what's Next!

I am writing this to assist other butterflies by giving them some knowledge from my journey and for everyone else to learn what I learned from driving training and what it means to me to be a successful driver living with Turner Syndrome and Nonverbal Learning Disability. 

I have always wanted to see if I could drive. My motto had been "I just need to know for sure... if I can't drive that's fine but I need to know for sure." Some employment challenges lead me to Vocational Rehabilitation through Opportunities for Ohioans with Disabilities. This was a VERY hard decision for me to make because I don't like being seen as having a disability. I have a medical condition which leads to challenges. Turner Syndrome is not a disability in and of itself although some of the challenges that come with it can cause disabilities. 

Anyway, to make a long story short, my vendor through Opportunities with Ohioans with Disabilities has a Driving School as part of its services. This meant that ALL of my lessons were paid for by the state. They also helped me prepare for and take my written test so I could get my temps. I found out that I had to have a job for this and I am so grateful for my job at Wendy's because otherwise I would not have been eligible for this service. Not only did they pay for driving school but they payed for Pharmacy School as well! 

Now for the lessons! It took a major commitment of time! I would mostly do my lessons on Sunday afternoons but also sometimes on Saturdays and before work.  I thought college was emotionally challenging but learning to drive was a lot harder. I had to face so many challenges related to my mental health with driving... I had to learn to believe in myself, learn how to control my anxiety, and utilize all my strength when I didn't pass the first two times to not give up. My parents would have to give me confidence when I didn't have any. My brothers and sisters-in-laws and even my little nephew also supported me. I remember driving Zachary (with a licensed driver and permission from his parents) and he said, "You did great!"

Towards the end of my driving school journey, I learned that I could not get with my license without God taking the wheel on my behalf. I was too weak and just didn't feel like I could do it! To bring some perspective- driving is the hardest thing for ladies with Turner Syndrome. This is because of Nonverbal Learning Disability which 90% of us have. Related to driving, NLD causes us to have visual-spatial challenges as well issues with depth perception. To get my license, I literally had to not only not listen to the people who said I couldn't do it but I also had to overcome the challenges caused by Nonverbal  Learning Disability. It is a literally a  battle!!!! 

To end, I did it!!! I prayed before every test and asked God to take the wheel and on the third time, I PASSED and got my Driver's license!! Not only did I pass, but I passed PERFECT on both maneuvering and driving!! This is what a butterfly does!!!! We don't settle!!! My instructor sent me the results with the score, and I will keep it forever!!! 

So, what is next for this butterfly? I am still working at Wendy's while in Pharmacy School for some source of income. After Pharmacy School, I will go back to the vendor who will help me find a job in Pharmacy as a Pharmacy Tech and once I land a job, I will have Job Coach the first 3 months that will work with me and the employer. They will then phase out but can come back if needed. Sometimes, I doubt myself there but then I remember what battle I just won and it motivates me to not give up! 

So many things had to fall into place, and in God's time it happened! It really happened!!! Did it hurt? YES! Was there frustration and tears? ABSOULTETLY! The take-away is fight but fight with God on your side. I didn't until I made it to the testing period. It was then, I realized I couldn't do it on my own. Don't settle for what people say you can't do! Set out to prove them wrong! If it is God's will- you WILL prove them!!!  

The Road to Gideon James

I have almost always had a dachshund. I was born into a family that had one. Her name was Nicki. We had to put her down when I was 7 so I do not remember her too well. I remember crying the night before we put down, so I know I had some form of attachment to her. When I was 10, God led us to Caleb! He was an amazing little boy!!!! We had him until I was 27 in 2016, when we sadly had to put him down. He was 17 and we had him for that length of time. My family let me make the decision of when we put him down which meant a lot to me, and it helped me with the grieving process.

For 9 years, I was without a puppy. I now know after getting Gideon, I waited too long. There were issues with timing and just regular logistics. Now it was possible to get a puppy and that is what I did!!! I knew this was going to MY puppy and dog and because of that, I have known for years that my baby would be named Gideon- Gideon James. Gideon is my favorite biblical prophet, and his story means so much to me and I see myself in Gideon. I chose the name James for his middle name because James in one of my favorite chapters in the Bible. Caleb had a biblical name, and it was also important to me to keep up with that theme. 

Gideon is amazing! He is helping me in so many ways already! I think the biggest thing so far is he has really taught me about God's love for us! I love him so much! He is a puppy, so he does things that I do not like but I love him, and those moments do not make me love him any less! I may get frustrated with him, but I don't give on him! God is that way with us!!! We may do things that He does not like, but He loves us nonetheless! Like I would never think of giving up on Gideon, God never thinks about giving up on us! 

I am so thankful for my therapist! She went above and beyond to make Gideon identified as an emotional service dog (ESA) and it was finally approved! This allows him to let me without monthly fees and a deposit! He is also allowed to go to public places with me. It is such a blessing! I also learned that God does provide through that situation. 

Gideon is 2 months old! He was born on the same day as my nephew! This was how we knew it was right! I will never wait 9 years again! He has really increased my quality of life!