Light in The Darkness

Let's face it! Some of us can feel like Charlie Brown at Christmas. Feeling melancholy, alone, tired of of commercialization. We hear "It's The Most Wonderful Time of The Year" all the time on the radio this time of year. The sad and harsh reality is that many people find this to be the hardest time of year. Grief over losing a loved one, family dysfunction, financial hardships... the list is endless! These events draw us further and further into the darkness. We find ourselves with a Charlie Brown mindset. The good news is even in the darkness, the light is still there. We just need to walk in obedience response to light.

I am going to tell you the story of a 14 year old girl who once lived in the darkness. It started right when she turned 14. Medically, she started having seizures and tics that were nonstop. Lots of test were done and several theories were given to what going on. During this time, she was home-bound. She could not even go to school. All these test, the nonstop seizures and tics with no diagnoses in sight she became increasingly depressed and suicidal. She was taken to see the best Child/Adolescent Psychiatrist in the city with over 20 years of experience as an emergency situation. Her mother was told she was the most depressed and stubborn teenager he'd ever seen and was at absolute risk of harming herself and completing suicide if left alone. He said it was not impossible but recovery would be a very long process and not happen over night. Little did her family know that her Grandfather was suicidal at the same time and would eventually complete suicide on March 9, 2004.

Recovery was long and hard but it came! Her family was with her every step of the way and never gave up on her. She was transferred to neurology at Cincinnati Children's Hospital and with the help of her oldest brother, she was finally diagnosed with Tourette's. She would be diagnosed with Pseudo Seizures a little later. Having the diagnoses was a major step in the right direction. Getting on medicine to help the seizures and tics and going to school for shorter day made everything better. It was still hard. Total recovery and peace wouldn't come until she was 18. Gradually, she saw light piercing the darkness. She knew how much her Grandfather's suicide affected her family and knew she couldn't do that to them- no matter how hard things got. The light was there but she had to respond to it. She had to see God in her diagnoses in order to make peace of it. She realized in High School that she has a testimony of God who doesn't let go, who is faithful and most importantly a God that is so bigger then depression, anxiety, and any diagnoses. 

This is a VERY short version of this story. The girl in this story in case you do not know is me. I know firsthand the darkness. How lonely it is to be in the darkness! So many situations can place us in the darkness. The turning point for me was seeing how much I was blessed! How my family was so patient and loving towards me, and the love was extended to me from other people and the prayers said on my behalf. My faith was very lacking but somehow I was able to write letters to God in a diary during that. This is the first step- making a cognizant decision to keep your faith no matter how hard the situations you face today or will face in the future. You need to open your eyes to all the ways you are blessed. When you see just how blessed you are the further you step out of the darkness.

This holiday season in obedience choose to see the light and step toward it accordingly.

I will leave you with 2 verses.

John 1:5

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

John 16:33
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”